Dear Megatron
by Scarlet Thorrn
Summary: A short little story, AU to TFPrime, and told almost entirely through little letters Starscream has written to his Bondmate, never intending them to actually ever be read by the Great Lord Megatron himself. How embarrassing. Warnings: -Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

**A short little story, AU to TFP, and told almost entirely through little letters Starscream has written to his Bondmate, never intending them to actually ever be ridden by the great Lord Megatron himself. **

**How embarrassing.**

**Oh! Though Megatron is technically reading the letters his Bondmate 'wrote' to him, most of the points/details of the story are meant for the reader to find and decide. It's a little difficult to explain, so I'll shut up and let you get to the story.**

**But as for warnings: Just expect this to meet the M rating. **

**I know this first chapter is short, but I hoped to at least make in interesting.**

**Please enjoy~ :D****  
**

**Chapter Time!**

Megatron frowned, lifting the odd little box, and expecting its frail, wobbly frame. It looked…old, very old. He was unable to pinpoint any sort of date on it through, and was about to throw it away, when a certain symbol caught his optic.

Megatron never really did go through his Bondmate's things, but, seeing the ancient, next to forgotten Vosian insignia engraved into the base, he couldn't help the jolt of curiosity that pinched at him. Fiddling with the latch, he found, to his surprise, no locking mechanism installed on the container. Now that was strange...

Idly looking inside, what he found, surprised him, to say the least. Sheets. Little slabs of metal with words written on them. He frowned in understanding. Letters. But letters to whom? Lifting the first, pressed up against the north wall, he squinted, struggling with the Seeker-cant, but making it out none the less.

And he was very, very surprised indeed.

Yes. Letters... Letters signed to _him_. From _Starscream_.

So he read the first, cautious to what he would find...

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_I hope you are satisfied, you royal aft. I also hope you realize, though, that I only agreed to this accursed bonding because of Vos, and its needs. You better keep your promises, or I __swear__ you will pay! My city-state and my Seekers are what matter to me. I don't care if I'm eternally bound to you now, with my sire on his Death-Berth, and my carrier along with my siblings destroyed, __I__ am the one the Crown will come to. __I__ am one who will take on the responsibilities of that title. And __I__ am the one who will bare the burdens and endure the sufferings of being bonded to an _- he couldn't quite make out the word -_ grounder like you! _

_As of this exact moment; I am being called, so I must go and face you and the crowd. I hate this. I hate you. But there is nothing I can do to escape the inevitable._

_I hope you are satisfied._

_I do not look forward to tonight. _

_Your __Bondmate, _

_Prince, Starscream._

* * *

Impossibly intrigued, Megatron lifted the next ancient sheet, taking note of the star-date, musing that all of these little letters were perfectly ordered according to simple time-base, and scanning its contents.

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_I am writing to inform you that I hate you, and that you are finally in recharge. __Thank. Primus.__ My valve is aching, and my frame too heated. I hate you. But simply so you know, I __do not__ enjoy this odd musky sent still lingering over my sensors, or the strange tingling in my spark. It is not pleasant, and it is not unpleasant. It is very strange… And I blame you, gladiator. I am not sure what it is, but you __definitely take interfacing too rough! _

_Ugh… Oh well. I suppose I shouldn't complain. Consummation is a ritual and a right... Still though, why me? Are you satisfied at all? I doubt it. I doubt you even give slag about me, too… - _something was smudged out here, and all Megatron could make out was - -_id? Not that I care. _

_Hmmph. You are stirring. I must go. _

_~Starscream._

* * *

Megatron's mouth twitched. Placing down this one behind the first, he lifted the next letter and read on.

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_So… This war has finally, truly, started? The Autobots are everywhere. I am frightened for myself, for my people and for my home. At this moment, my sire is mere hours from deactivation. Command of Vos will fall to me, so, intern, my Seeker's will fight for you… _

_Please, I beg that you make this sure-fire approaching pain worth it._

_~Starscream_

* * *

He didn't even pause before reaching for the next.

* * *

Bondmate,

_Although I refuse to say it: I apologize for my behavior. My sire is gone, my coronation as Sovereign of Vos will take place tomorrow, I know you will be there. But, what I…am sorry for, is my unnecessary implications on subjects I confess I know little of. It was imprudent of me to screech at you, declaring you a fool when you told me of your plans on attacking Tyger Pax. I was not in a right state of mind… _

_I admit I fully deserved the slap you gave me. But it hurt terribly none the less. I still hate you, but…_

_I just need time alone right now._

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_You frustrate me to no end. I simply can not bring myself to understand you! Why? Why do you pick a time to be concerned, or show an ounce of caring when, oh, I don't know, I could have used it before? You are gone for __months__ at a time. You leave me here, seemingly without a single worry, and then you return, find me in a state better left unspoken, and suddenly fake that you care? When my sire finally passed, you were stoic and quiet, leaving me to myself, when I needed-_

The sheet was stained with blurriness, as if that of dried tears…

…_I can do __nothing__ in this war… Except count the dead and console the families for their loss. I worry for my city, I worry for myself. Stop making this harder. _

_~Starscream._

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_I am afraid. Energon is so scarce now, how will I keep my people from starving? I want to speak to you about this, but I can not. Would you listen? I doubt it. I think all you would say is simply to put more civilians in a war they didn't want! I am angry, as well. With you. More and more of my Seekers are dying! They are being slaughtered! They are the best fliers you will find, so why are they tossed to dust? Who is your Air Commander? Why do you refuse to speak to me about anything that concerns the war, now? _

_Why keep me in the dark?_

_Am I not the one you are sworn to? "For eternity and past, never a lie should I speak, never another I should touch. I am yours and you are mine. By Primus equals we are. And by Primus may it remain that way 'til all are one with the spark of our maker… I promise to always love and to cherish and to hold near in times of greatness and in times of pain. I promise never to regret this day. For truth will forever be the simplest gift I will give you." _

_Truth… For some reason, I believe none of it truly exists between us._

_~Starscream_

* * *

Megatron paused, weighing his action's penalties. It didn't take him long for to subspace the little box, with all the even littler letters still hidden inside, and walk from the room.

**Note Time!**

**Well I hope you enjoyed. I'm not sure when I'll update this story, or really work on it. It's more of a pass tine to clear my head. You know, those times you need to write, but you're having trouble writing, so you just scribble something new? Well, all the same: I'll at least try to make this enjoyable. :) **

**A review would be lovely, and have a wonderful day! ;D**

**~Scarlet**


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings: **Expect there to be a million mistakes in this chapter- I just randomly found the inspiration and quickly typed it up; haven't edited it at all! I don't have time right now so I'll do it later... heh heh... **EDIT: **Okay so I DID edit it a bit! Although... I'm still not too happy with this chapter... Oh well...**  
**

**Hey! You! Yeah you! Over here! Over here! Look! Look! A new chapter! Are you proud of me? Yeah, yeah? 8D**

**Lolz, well, I hope you are…even if it's short… I was so literally surprised by the amazing and positive feedback this story got on the first chapter that I did a little thinking… I'm still working on it, but for now here's something. :3 **

**I confess to a little (failed) attempt at humour at the very start, so don't be too edgy on that. I can crack a joke just as well as the next guy - well, chick, I guess - but I don't think I'm honestly a funny person… Heh heh… Anyway, since I'm feeling better for some mysterious reason, I wrote this, and I'll shut up and let you get to it!**

**Please enjoy! Not much Megatron in this chapter… Warning- there really won't be much of him at all in this story, I believe at least. **

**Chapter Time!**

The door sealed closed with a hiss, causing Megatron to let out a slight breath of air as it softly clicked in locking. Alright, so mission accomplished! Starscream was buried slim-little-waist high in data-pads loaded with astro-kliks of information structured for reports. _Heh, Soundwave could really pick 'em. _The Supreme Commander's Bondmate would be busy all cycle!

With heavy steps padding over to the berth, Megatron reached into his subspace and grabbed the little box full of letters. Though a piece of him - a very _small_ piece; Lord Megatron never experienced guilt - felt almost resentful for prying into a part of Starscream's life he obviously was not meant to see, the secret insight into what the Seeker had thought and felt throughout the millenia was simply too tempting.

It was troublesome, thinking back all those years; puzzling over what had happened to cause what did. And with the incredible desire to seek the truth that clung to him, as well as that now that he possessed the tool to do so, his own willingness to do what he must surprised Megatron. An unsettling yearning was nipping at the black warping vortex that was his spark. He wanted- _needed, _to know _why._ And the letters were the only way to discover the truth.

So, settling down and making himself comfortable, Megatron reached for the next little slab, and went on.

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_I am entirely fed up with you. This is more than simply keeping me out of the way! You- you __refuse__ to grant me any __information!__ I ask how my Seekers are doing, __my Seekers,__ and you do not answer! And it is the same with everything! You've pushed me into a corner! I look out to the world, and all I see is Eblood, hate, and pain. The characteristics of war. This fight has escalated, __all__ of Cybertron is involved- __I__ should be involved! Yet you push me away! You lock me in my city, you practically deny my existence, and when I simply ask to know __what in the heavens__ I should be preparing for, you shake your head and walk away._

_And for what!? _

_I don't understand! Why keep me away, why refuse me knowledge of what the rest of my home is going through? Do you think me weak? Do you think me stupid? I am no youngling, gladiator. I can keep my city- I can help in this war! So why won't you let me? _

_~Later_

_You have returned from speaking with my general. You appear tired and are lying on my berth. "What are you doing?" you ask, and I don't answer. I hate you. But I'm going to get up and allow you to do what you please to my body anyway. _

_That is all I am good for, isn't it?_

_~Starscream._

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_The war goes on and your glossa never moves to tell me tales of what is happening. I wish I could fight… I am tired of sitting here and doing nothing… I hate that you think me helpless, because that's it, isn't it? You don't believe in me. Don't believe I'm strong enough to guide my own Seeker's into battle. I hate you. And I wish you'd just never come back to me. Die on the battlefield for all I care. It would be a day of celebration. _

_~Starscream_

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_It has been mere hours since I wrote last...and I am terrified. A strike team of rouge Autobots struck at my city, killing many before they were shot to the ground. They were fliers, once residents of Vos itself… Their slashed but present Autobot insignia's gave away their faction, but later, as I contacted Autobot forces to demand why innocent civilians were fired upon, especially while the mane forces of the war are located across the planet, I learned they were rouge… 'Why?' Is all I can think... Though sparks must be hardened to stainless orbs of titanium during times of war, this attack seemed so…random and pointless. _

_As I said, these now deactivated rouges once came from my city…they knew where to drop their bombs, knew where to strike to kill the most…_

_I was right there when one of them fell, and had I not be circumstantially standing behind the over-hang to a flight deck, which provided blessed shelter and sanctuary, I would be dead just like many others._

_But I am alive and well with only a few scratches. I don't feel right, though… Not in terms of sickness, but of…something other… I wish you were here. _

_~Starscream._

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_I'm unsure of what to think of you at this moment. I am lost in an enormous spiral of confusion. There you came, striding through the door to my room, and proceeded to glare at me after demanding me to show you any injuries. _

_Honest to Primus, I was…physically alright. So you seemed relieved when you verified that- but then you were angry, wanting to know exactly what had happened, how I had gotten mixed into the attack and what not. And although I couldn't help the pinch of importance that fluttered in my spark, I was also very confused as to how you had gotten here this quickly. _

_Well, never mind it. What truly is confusing me is your actions as of present. You do not seem pleased to leave me again, which is odd. The battle needs you after all. And you actually insisted we stay together tonight. We always do anyways, so I really don't-_

_Oh. You are calling. I must go._

_But, one last thought- why is it the…__bond__ is acting up? I could feel, __can still feel__, strange emotions vibrating from your end. The bond between us has been closed since the day it was created… And although I confess to being a little shaken…_

_Alright, now I truly must go. I am confused. That is all I wanted to say. Now stop hollering- I'm right here in the wash racks! _

_~Starscream._

**Note Time!**

**Spoiler: Starscream's…really not alright. You'll see later what I mean though. **

**Well, I apologize if both Megsy and Screamer seem OOC- they are meant to be that way for 2 reasons. One: We are not permitted to see into Megatron's mind throughout the story- even IF he is technically the narrator. 2: war changes people… Who knows what they were like before… **

**Anywho! Please Leave A Review For I Will See You Soon! :D**

**~Scarlet! **


	3. Chapter 3

**NOTE: YOU WILL PROBABLY FIND LOTS OF MISTAKES! DON'T HAVE TIME TO GET THEM OUT RIGHT NOW! SORRY! JUST WANTED TO POST!  
**

**Hey, look! Another chapter! It's been...2 weeks now? Hey but like I warned in the first chapter/sorta said in the second, I'm only writing when I feel like it, or just need something to get past my writers block (which as any writer knows is ultimate suckageness). :/ OOOH! But good news! I just got the idea for this chapter and the next 2 so woo hoo! **

**Okay I won't say anything else other than, thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews, reads, faves and fallows :D! They're so awesome! :') **

**Oooh! Also! Something important: **Starscream only typically writes when he's feeling some sort of strong emotion(s) And you only see Megatron now when he's REALLY affected by a letter. That, or I NEED him to fill in a missing gap in the story. It's hard writing the whole thing just through letters, because Starscream is writing them TO him, therefor- well, I'm not sure how to explain it. Being on the writing end, you already know the situation, and it does not need to be explained for you are writing to someone who already knows what happened, that's why there seems to be so little depth other than (hopefully at least) the emotions. That's what I meant when allot is left to the reader to decide. So sometimes there are holes in the story, or really, there are times when Starscream does not write. As shortly there will seemingly be too much going on for him to put it all down so- well, you'll see...hopefully...

**Ugh. I really don't think I'm making any sense what so ever... I hope I did but- Ugh...**

**Anyway, please enjoy this chapter! :D I think it's not the best, but like any story I simply want to get these uneasy, awkward starter chapters out of the way before going on with the rest of it. Oh yes, this chapter is just one big Letter, but I promise the next 2 chapters will be out soon! :D **

**ANYWAY! Please enjoy :D **

**Chapter Time! **

Lifting a letter much bigger than the ones before, a frown tugged at Megatron's lips. This was odd. Practically every letter hitherto had been short, quick, to the point. But this one was different. Strange, as some places seemed scrambled, while others slow, the liquidated metal blotchy as if the author of the notes appeared to stop and pause, as if uncertain.

Shaking his helm, Megatron decided against caring. Shifting to make himself more comfortable, knowing fully well that this would not be the last letter he read, careful digits worked to gently smooth out the ancient sheet, and optics adjusting to a better focus, Megatron read on, terribly curious as to what this letter held, and forgetting the oddity of the last he had seen...

* * *

Megatron,

_I am confused. And I am not in the state to write, talk, think, or- or...anything. So just, just- _

_What happened? Why did you...? Do you really...? You confuse me... You always do... _

_I'll simply- I-_

_Ugh..._

_As you know, yesterday, finally gathering the courage to do so, I flew to my wing mates' final resting place. It was a grave flight. The air was thick as lead, my wings were made of granite. Doubt, guilt, and sorrow chewed holes through both my spark and them. When I landed, I did nothing. Unable to move, talk, or think. Every part of me __screamed__ to go back; turn around. Have you ever had the feeling? It's not pleasant. It is like you are treading heavily over a bridge thats foundations have long since cracked. Its like your wings are chained to an invisible ground, and with every movement you make the founding poles shake. And the only way it stops, the only way your spark says it will be safe, is if you will turn around._

_I did not. I did nothing. _

_Too long I stood there, and too long it took to cross the bridge. With every step I took, the hole grew bigger, and with every tear I felt ripping me apart my determination withered. _

_Finally, seemingly after hours of suffering from uncertainty, I stood there, but the torture did not end._

_I am not strong enough to think of their deaths, hardly to write them down, but I tell you I miss them, by Primus I do..._

There seemed to be a pause, an uneasy break in the writing, before:

_I don't understand entirely why I went, and I don't understand the words that fell from my lips. I was fine. The attack was weeks ago, and I lived. Many did... Though many died, as well... _

_...I spoke as if I was still scared, afraid. I admit to being frightened, we are in war, after all, but-_

_I just don't know..._

_I shivered, whispering to their buried, lifeless frames that I missed them terribly, that I'd always miss them. You wouldn't understand, Lo- Megatron, you wouldn't._

_So why did you ask?  
_

_I admit to being __extremely__ confused, surprised, and embarrassed when I turned around and saw you standing there, your optics on me. "I thought you were only going to be back tomorrow," I said, trying to recover from both the silence along with my slight outburst, and schooled my expression to one of indifference._

_Your ignoring of my question, though, annoyed me. _

_"Who were they?" you asked quietly, now by my side. I was shocked to hear you speak in my native glossa, but my surprise quickly turned to anger at your question._

_"That is-" I meant to tell you it was none of your business, but something stopped me. Bonemate. I tolled myself. Bondmate... I hate you, Bondmate, but I supposed you __did __have a right to know. But I hated myself even more for actually telling. _

_"Skywarp and Thundercracker," my tone was bitter and quiet, and it was only when I was (too gently for my liking) pulled into your arms, that I noticed the coolant in my optics._

_I hate you. Do you have any idea how weak I felt, suddenly unable to hold back tears, and held like a sparkling in your strong embrace? Your single servo, pressed to my back, was like a prison in itself. I couldn't move away. You wouldn't let me. My body wouldn't let me. So I cried. All the damned sadness and guilt too much for me._

_I confessed the rights of a Trine: brotherhood; companionship; protection. Without my wing-mates...I am alone. You couldn't understand that, so why did I tell? I hate you... Hate that the presence of your spark crushes me and my defenses. I was perfectly happy with my walls strung tightly up around my spark, but now that I am bonded... A hole has been drilled through those defenses... A blocked hole, but a gap none the less. And you are the cause._

_You said nothing, but as I had before, I felt the bond quiver between us, as if begging to be opened. _

_I hate that I wanted to._

_I could __feel__ thoughts strange emotions coming from you. What where they? What were you thinking? I just can't understand you, your actions, or anything, really..._

_And of course you had to go and make the hole thing so much worse didn't you? You simply __had__ to finally lift my chin and find my teary optics with your own concer- no. A trick of the light perhaps. Because I know you think of me nothing but a tool to be used, both politically, and privately. A whore Seeker to warm your berth. I realize that now. _

Something stung, deep in the black warp that was the Warlord's spark. He remembered those days, remembered the confusion, much like Starscream had felt. Often he didn't even understand his own actions, or what he felt...

Shaking his helm, he went on, remembering impossibly well about what had happened next, and later the trouble it caused...

_But...still... Why did you kiss me? _

_Out in the open, standing before my Trine mates' graves, and bared for the world to see... It seems simply too personal, too...too- ...loving. As if we were regular mates, bots who cared for each other. We are not. I know what you think of me, pathetic and weak... Why else would you lock me away and pretend as if I do not exist? I know it is true for- Well... Once, every now and a while, I confess to childishly sneaking away a report to read; just to see how things are faring in the war! But I can view clearly that there __appears__ to be no record or knowledge of a Seeker, who so happens to be your very bonded, is shut away in his own city. Starscream, does not exist, does he?_

_...Are you ashamed of me, Megatron? _

He could not read further, trapped in an almost dizzying state. Thoughts he hadn't thought in too long now roomed his mind, digging into depthly corners; twisting behind a shadowy feeling; forcing long suppressed memories to resurface... Shuttering his optics, he grit his denta, forcing his processor to cooperate with his iron will and send the cursed ideas away! Damn it. Damn it all to the Pit! Regret was starting to coil inside him, regret that told tales of how virtually screwed he was. He should never have opened the box, he should never had read the letters. It was stupid, and now he was paying the price; caught in a web of incomprehensible, pointless, _Autobotish, _**feelings**, that had simply been forgotten...

Damn it...

Currently Starscream and himself had been able to co-exist. After returning to the Decepticon army, after being a neutral for far too long in Megatron's view, Starscream seemed different, no longer lusting after his position- as much as the Warlord could tell, anyway, and was once again the blundering idiot that had fallen back into the routine- He'd screw up. Megatron would get frustrated. They'd frag. Megatron would forgive him. He'd screw up again. Starscream was Starscream, though if only a _tad_ bit less ambitious.

But now...

Something, perhaps another one of the damn feelings he was rumoured not to have, told the Warlord, the routine would break, that he would think differently about his- ...bondmate.

A huff sharply cut from his vents. Preposterous! What was he thinking!? He was Megatron for Primus' sake! The moronic idiot that was his Second in Command was right. Megatron had felt _nothing_ for him. Still felt nothing. Would always feel nothing. What were these outrageous ideas rising from the depths of the darkened corners of his mind, whispering that he'd regret this, that he'd think different? He. Would. Not.

Iron will and thick headed-ness forcefully knocking doubts back into last vorn, he looked to read on with indifference. _Because I don't care. _thought he stubbornly, _I will never care. And Starscream is simply a fool if he did not wish to accept that. He was right. _"Simply my whore," a mumble of agreement.

...And something stung. This time not a phantom ache, a memory from ages past, but pain, real, physical pain, stabbing in his spark. Overwhelming the remains of the Dark Energon that pulsated, a feeling, a feeling he couldn't place, attacked him, fed up and frustrated with his pig-headed attitude and thinking ways.

Confusion hindered his thoughts, and he swallowed, deeply, leaning back on the berth to shut his piercing scarlet eyes.

Guilt.

It was guilt.

Guilt... A feeling, a senseless, pointless feeling that meant _nothing_ to him, was colliding with his very core; screaming at him faults and stupidity; looking at him angrily, clawing at the iron of his will-

Until his pride finally died.

Until he felt sick to his tank.

Then there was simply bitterness. Awkward, unpleasant bitterness that sloshed about, as if to drown him.

Megatron sighed, _feeling_ for the first time in...ever, it seemed.

Setting the letters down by his side, he stood from the berth, dragging his pedes and allowing his helm to hang as he forced himself to go and retrieve Energon; to clear his head, drown the guilt out that fought to silently consume him.

~~V^V~~

He was going to continue reading. He had to. The guilt hadn't gone away, and when he lifted the sheet, the first line he saw was: _...Then you are stupid. An arrogant fool. _Now he couldn't help but agree. As much as the inconceivable _feelings_ haunted him though, there was more. He was curious. Deathly curious. He wanted to know so badly... Know what had happened... Why Starscream had...

He shook his helm, his pride a shattered mess. Bitterness and cool, unforgiving guilt was what he felt now, and...and...the empty hole that floated. A block, where once a bond had been.

The bond was still there, still waiting to be opened. But it was faint and dull, almost lifeless, its makers no longer wanting it, never desiring it. Megatron was tempted to allow his side to open, allow feelings to blink from his end for the first time in millenia. But he knew he wouldn't; couldn't.

He knew all he would find in the abandoned bond would be pain, and the wall that shielded Starscream's spark.

The wall he had apparently once drilled a hole through...

He felt himself actually smile at that, and when he didn't batter himself for it, the guilt lessened, if only just a little.

Gathering courage, for he sure as _Hell_ would be unable to do with without it, he read on.

_Are you ashamed of me, Megatron?_

_...Then you are stupid. An arrogant fool._

_I am the most beautiful Seeker you will ever lay your optics on! I am cunning, attractive, sought after! If you don't want me-_

_Then why kiss me? Why hold me all night long? Why-_

Once again he saw the dabbles of dried coolant, of forgotten, unnoticed tears...

_You confuse me to no end. How many times have I said that; written it? I'm so confused... I-_

A pause. Then again the writing appeared to have been started anew.

_We returned, I had finished my tears, and was merely ashamed to be walking by you, your arm still around my waist. Cold, I let you hold me, and bring me inside. We had waisted most of the day yesterday simply doing nothing but standing at the grave sight, my helm against your chest and my frame slack against yours. We had a few hours to spend before complete nightfall, though. The closest star was only just thinking of settling down for the day, and I was restless. _

_I thought you'd leave me, go to do your duty and speak with the guard. General Ramjet was looking forward to your coming of "today," actually, saying beforehand that there was something exciting he was dying explain- and although I know that is where you are now; why did you not go sooner?_

_Again I am confused._

_You stayed with me, for the rest of the day. We sat in my quarters, barely speaking, just starring through large windows at the beautiful velvet sky, and how it grew stars as it dimmed to the deep purple of night. _

_At some time I slipped into recharge. I remember, faintly, catching the last rays of sunlight before the star we orbit seemingly moved out of view as our beautiful, dying planet turned its face away. _

_When I woke, though, the moons high and dancing among the dust clouds rolling through the winds over the darkness of night, I found you peacefully asleep. I admit to almost laughing. Do you have any clue how adorable you look when in recharge, Lov- _The writing halted, as if the author had been abruptly snapped from a daze. Liquidated metal stained in a zigzag over the sheet, Megatron curiously cocked his head, unable to make out what Starscream had seemingly _almost_ written. But the letter went on, formal at first, but soon slipping into that enchanted fluid flow.

_I confess to starring at you for a moment, and also the...strange action of tracing a scar that slashed over your faceplate. Many scars have begun to show on your frame. Have you noticed, Megatron? Really I ought to order you to shower, and buff them out! While in my city you will look appropriate! No matter if I must drag you down to the wash racks myself! _

_Well, never mind the ugly...-alright, strangle appealing, and very, very __mechly__, battle-marks. You didn't wake, and curiosity got the better of me._

_With our bodies pressed to close, you can not expect me not to __feel__ some...some...heat? I...do not know..._

_My Primus did my valve ache! I honestly hate you. With talons delicately exploring your gladiatorial frame...alright, fine. Your brute strength and implying size is...alluring... Oh, what's the word? ...Sexy... You simply so...so...dominating, and strong, and powerful. And heavens bless- that spike of yours!_

_...Frag my existence, I am doing it again. I swear when you get back, if you don't throw me on the berth and quite rightly ravish every inch of my frame- Ugh! Hmmph. I must be entering a heat cycle. Oh well, I'll simply allow a check up with Skywing... _

_I can't help but sigh, though, damn you. My claws got to go everywhere, all over your firm and potent body. I got to wander where no other mech could, and I think... My Primus..._

_Perhaps, for the first time in all of this arrangement. I shall confess to perhaps enjoying that fact that I, and I alone, am your bondmate. No one else is aloud to touch you. Period. _

_If I'm your whore, you're mine too. _

_Anyway, I'm unsure if I was happy or upset that you woke and interrupted my game. However, those thoughts faded when you quite rightly growled in my audio, taking all the control you wanted and deserved, you beast of a machine... _

_...Oh good Gods I hear you coming. I suppose I should be happy this letter is done... I feel better, now... Surprisingly..._

_Now. Since you will never read this. Goodbye-_

_And hello._

_~Starscream._

Megatron smirked, leaning back against the helm-board of the berth, and remembering that day. Hmmph. Walk in and throw him to the berth, eh? He laughed, because that was exactly what he did.

**Note Time!**

**Yeeeaaaahhhhhhhhh... I hope you liked! I did XD **

**Please Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello there! I know, it's been a bit... But I got a few things to say... **

**First off- LOTS OF MEGSY IN THIS CHAPTER XD I mean, there wasn't supposed to be... and I get the feeling there actually is going to be more of him in this story. Originally, there wasn't going to be- 'twas the plan! But alas, I think this story is shifting O,o Well, I'd like if you'd express your thought som the matter... More Megatron, less Megatron...? You tell me!**

**Also! #2! Megatron has yet another encounter with these...feelings... *Shivers* ALSO HE SEEMS SO OCC! BOO HOO HOO! THE TEARS! I'M SO SORRY! I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON! D': I MEAN...BOTH Starscream and Megsy! And- ble! Uhh... Keep in mind that they are younger right now, much, much younger... So maybe that can excuse the cutsiness of this chapter...? I'm sorry. I really am. I mean this is fluffy. (compared to other stories, not freaking at all, actually! But this is Megsy and Screamer. Lord Megatron + Commander Starscream DOES NOT = cuddles and cutsiness!) It's scary. O,O**

**Okay! Third! a quick shout out to EVERYONE for being so incredibly supporting of this story! I have the feeling everyone will hate this chapter, but I will try try try and try some more to ake this story as best it can be! The up-coming chapter will be fun! And dark, though... tis one of the reason why I tried a but of sweet love stuff in this chapter... Soon we'll enter war, and then there shall be no going back...**

**Forth/Fifth: 4- **Personal shout out to-** ADAl44T-KB-O **&** DreamMaster08X **you awesome people, you! I feel like sucha bitch... But I shall answer your messages! I've just been so busy lately! D: Thank yu both for being so very awesome in incredibly supportive! And while I'm at it, again, thank you EVERYONE for the favourites, fallows, and reviews. I know it seems dumb to say this considering this story has barely begun but...: You have me in tears. :')

**OH YES! There is a very, very IMPORTANT message at the end of this, PLEASE READ IT!**

**ANYWHO! I know... I talk too fucking much... Please enjoy! X3****  
**

**CHAPTER TIME!**

Starring but not reading, Megatron curtly decided this was nonsense. _Feelings. _How absurd!

...Thoughts haunted him, echos from his very soul, yet he chose to pay them no mind... He was Megatron. Rightful ruler of the Decepticons. Lord and Master to all! One stupid Seeker and his pointless feelings from ages past were not to stop him.

He was Megatron...

...He was uncertain.

For Starscream wasn't stupid. And he was far from ordinary... But Megatron always admitted that to himself! Starscream was not your regular mech. He was ambitious, arrogant, a...appealing! His sheer audacity was something to be baffled by (not to mention annoyed). Yes, Starscream was all that. And more. Much, much more... Megatron knew that. Had always known that! So why?! After _eons_ these Primus damned and insane, irrational, erratic, bewildering, catastrophic, **fucking- **_**feelings**_, simply laying dormant and unnoticed hitherto, were _now _re-awakening!?

And for _**WHAT!?**_

Because of a few _pointless_ and _unconcerning_ le-!?

Wait.

What?

...Re-awakening?

Optics grew wide, memories slapped him as they had not long ago, intakes halted, ideas; thoughts; wants and needs plagued through his mind, vents struggled to continue comfortable circulation, and then sparks shattered.

Pain lingered. Uncomfortable pain. Inner pain. Pain he didn't understand. Never did understand. Never could understand.

He shook his head, settling back, simply allowing himself to be slowly, miserably, consumed by this internal ache of...grief?

A shudder.

...He didn't want to think about it; couldn't think about it.

Starscream was weak. He. Was. _Not._

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_Once again, you lie in recharge whilst I can not sleep. I am unable to hault my thoughts from seeking nights past... You've been here for __six days__ already. The first solar cycle you spent with me; just me, and mostly by the grave sight of my Trine... The next, and the ones after, I __only__ saw you in the late evening... Can you tell me why I wish this was not the case? Why I was told by others you were to leave tomorrow, but now you say you will stay yet another day? _

_I'm confused, to say the least. You must return to your fight. The war needs you..._

_And- _

_...I cannot stop myself from cuddling myself closer to your potent frame, wishing you wouldn't go... So alright. I need you, too... But there are bigger things rooming about our world than my silly desires and weak wants!_

_I know this! So why- I-_

_Scrap..._

_Can you tell me what is wrong with me? What's happening to the both of us? Why my thoughts make not an intake of sense? Why this letter seems so stupid and thoughtless?! I don't know... And I don't want you to leave, either._

_So yes, I suppose I am...happy, you are here for one more cycle. Whether you should spend it with me or not._

_~Starscream_

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_You confuse me... Again. You leave for Praxus tomorrow, and may I inform you, idiot, it is important for you to conduct preparations for the journey. Not hide from my generals in the Highest Tower's archaic library! Really, I say it again: Idiot._

_"I am not __hiding__," you scoffed, crossing your arms to glare at me as if I was interrupting something. There was an odd pause in which I contemplated what to snap at you with, whilst you appeared to be mulling over something; but I confess my thoughts coming to a abrupt halt when you asked: "...How did you find me, anyway?" _

_...You know, you honestly are a moron. So in response to your slow, almost awkward words, I merely rolled my optics, replying dryly. "I've lived here my entire life, twit. I know all of the towers' secrets and chambers. And it is not hard to find someone in the old corridors who walks as heavily as you do." _

_You looked as if you were to reply hotly, when suddenly you frowned. "Starscream," I blinked at the use of my name; it was unlike you. "Have you never been out of Vos?" _

_...Though it feels better writing this down on 'file, I still hate you. Why must you ask such a thing? Is it not __bloody__ obvious my creators never allowed me a foot outside my city? That I've been locked away, so forgotten and pointless, just all my life? ...Why must you bring back such ugly memories? Particularly, the day I was forgotten down here, and was not remembered til almost a week had gone by? _

_I turned away, embarrassed and hot in the faceplate. You said nothing for a while, you treacherous grounder, I thought you had turned away, gone to think of other things! You had not. _

_"Starscream." You were starring at me, I could feel your optics on my slim and fragile frame. Not hungry, lust filled eyes, but curious, quiet ones. You should have known I didn't want to talk about it. _

_Suddenly feeling your body softly pressed against mine, I drew in a gasp, surprised as hands trapped our frames together. With an uneasy intake, I leant back into your touch, frightfully knowing you could crush me in a moment with your strong arms, wrapped around my waist. _

_"Starscream," again, you spoke my name. I merely nodded, feeling uncomprehecivly worthless. You couldn't understand. I always longed to see the world, experince things outside the walls of Vos, but... First my creators locked me away, and now you do, too. _

_I wished you hadn't stayed the extra day, then._

_You didn't speak anymore. It felt almost as if you wanted to, but no words left your intake. I shuddered, suddly cold, and that closed whatever moment there had been._

_Can you tell me why I was...disappointed? _

_~Starscream_

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_So we spend the day together? I cannot believe we still reside in this old library... The servants haven't come down here in eons! ...And I have long since read all its books. I have read much in my life, you know... And had it not been for my 'duties' as prince, I am positive I would have pursued a scientific career... You now, when I was young, I dreamed of exploring of adventures and travels..._

_But not once was I permitted._

_Too delicate, fragile and precious, my creators would say... As I child, I was often mistaken for a femme, hmm...I still am today, but... Is that what you see when your eyes fall on me? A little mech, to delicate to be of much use? _

_I can help in this war, Megatron... Please, let me?_

_~Starscream_

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_Once upon a time, I believed grounders were, especially you thick-headed types, slow and unthinking brutes. How very wrong you seem to continuously prove to me today. First the ancient scrolls, marked upon with stories of old, great fliers that ruled Vos. Then the academic files; the interest you showed in our society; how we lived. Honestly, I should have probably denied you some or most or all of the knowledge I offered, but...while curled up and far too comfortable sitting beside you... You take far too much advantage of my quick glossa. I love to talk. And you know it. But now finally with the countless documentaries on history and wars... _

_I love the way you speak, your words carry much conviction in them. It is hard, trying to determine if your preaching is constructed of any lies or not. The passion you are capable of presenting yourself with is enchanting; inspiring. _

_I know what my sire would say: "'With such awe-inspiring words comes the necessity of caution. Be careful with you God-sent gift." ...I also know how my sire allowed you to bond to me, now... A grounder like you..._

_Is capable of many things._

_~Starscream_

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_"You curl my lips into a smile,_

_"You make my eyes light up with style._

_"You force away the bad thoughts,_

_"To make me happy for a while." _

_...Are we honestly doing this? Sitting here still, reading __children's __novels? ...The irony of this is almost sad. Still though, why do you seem interesting in some of these ryhmes and poems and stories? _

_"What are you doing?" you ask yet again from the couch I sat at but a moment ago. Is it not obvious? _

_"Reading."_

_You make a sound that could have been a grunt and go back to your readings, allowing me a fully back glance whenever I wish at your lovely, strong, potent- _

_"Reading, eh?" you have just said and- _

The liquidated metallics seemed splattered, and Megatron faintly remembered that exact moment, himself quietly sneaking up on his bondmate to peer over his shoulder to see he was up to. Starscream had of course slammed his book shut, concealing the lose sheet that was hidden within, and Megatron recalled him rather stressed as to making sure his bondmate never opened the book.

It started a rather odd...fight.

If you could call a good game of chase, that.

Megatron chuckled absentmindedly, remembering Starscream jumping up, the book locked tightly within his arms, and dashing from his table, down between the rows upon rows of shelves stacked with endless data-pads, filled with the ancient and wonderful stories.

He himself had of course done the only natural thing to do, and fallowed.

That was the day he had discovered Starscream's greatest strength on the field. Speed. Though Megatron by all means 'won' the 'game', the Seeker had put up an...interesting fight. Sprinting here, ducking there, they had scurried and scrambled, ran and rocketed, until they both seemed to have almost entirely forgotten about the book, and were laughing, young and, _ahem_, 'living it up', or whatever it was they were honestly doing. To be perfectly serious, it all seemed rather silly, and Megatron was unsure if he should be embarrassed by the old and playful memory, or simply down right disgraced that he could possibly have ever acted so childishly.

Of course, when he had finally caught the Seeker, slamming him into the nearest wall, (quite gently, considering his actual, full strength) a kiss from a thin and seemingly untouched mouthplate was enough to kick start his interface drive into next vorn. Suddenly mad with lust, he quickly banished the Seeker's almost-attempt at innocence (the little whore), and quite rightly _ravished _every inch of his pretty petite frame.

And Hell, when his spike sunk into the impossibly tight heat of bonemate's valve... He was with Primus.

Not to mention that back in those days, it gave him even more of a kick that this utterly stunning; perfect creature and being, was his. All his.

The Autobots wouldn't touch him. Ever. He remembered thinking that. Remembered how much he had wanted to-

To-!

...Protect him.

Something twisted in his gut, a feeling he couldn't name springing to life! Fear churned in his belly, and he quickly fled away from the odd sensations clutching at him, a cowered to trying to understanding them.

It was a while before he picked up the next letter.

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_You are reading, once again sitting on the surprisingly comfortable couch, whilst I am here, perched upon the only windowsill. With a perfect view of the beautiful and dimming sky... How can I possibly explain my want to simply fly away? Ascend high into the rushing airs, never to return? I suppose it is a trait all Seekers battle, but I feel it more now than ever... War is upon us. Our world is dying! People are starving; my people! I wish I could help you, but you leave me here... Unwanting of my assistance... I keep my city, but sometimes the need to fly; escape is simply too much... Every Seeker must find his or her own way to stay rooted to the ground, to not allow our wings to take us far, far away... But what is my reason? I feel helpless, like I can do nothing. And anything I attempt will simply add up to a total of zero..._

_I wish I could fly away... _

_But every-time I find my resolve slipping, my wings itching to take to the open sky...my optics find you._

_I am more confused than ever..._

_You are calling._

_Hold me tonight... The last night we shall be together for quite a time... Please?_

_ ~Starscream_

* * *

Megatron was still; everything was quiet, his thoughts roomed free. But just as the ache, and the impossible feeling he couldn't name started to creep from the shallows of his black spark, the door hissed open to reveal a very tired and agitated looking mech.

Starscream.

**Note Time!**

**Aren't I the bestest? XD I hope enjoyed! Please review! :3**

* * *

Got this from Mrs. Ferb Fletcher-inator. It's all true and please read!

VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE!

READ:

A message from dracohalo117 and Leaf Ranger...SOPA is back, that is right people, the bill that is threatening to take away our freedoms on the internet and beyond is BACK, and not only is it back, but it is trying to be passed quietly so nobody notices, SOPA will guarantee that anybody who streams a video, whether it be on youtube, a walkthrough for a video game, or a kid singing a song that is 'copyrighted' they will be treated as a felon, that is right, a FELON, do you understand me? YOU will be treated like the highest form of criminal for uploading a video game walkthrough on youtube, for singing a song on karaoke, hell, you could be arrested and treated as a felon for posting a screenshot...

Now, why am I telling you this? Because this is only just the beginning, how long until Fanfiction is being attacked, how long until a fanfiction writer is being carted off to a maximum state prison for writing a character from Naruto into their fanfic, or a character from Bleach, or a character fro Sekirei or Seikon no Qwaser, Highschool DxD, Trinity Blood, Witchblade, how long until THAT crap is happening? I assure you that if this passes, it will not be long, oh no, it will not be long at all, because once this passes, then ANYTHING goes, Fanfiction will be attacked for using canon characters in a fanon manner, authors will be arrested for writing a book whose main character has glasses, just like in another series, artists will be arrested and confined for using sapphire blue in the iris of one of their characters like another author. We CANNOT let this happen!

Don't believe us? Look at the links below, remove the spaces, see for yourself, and please, PLEASE spread the word and fight this assault on our freedoms, because this isn't just going to affect americans, oh no, it will affect EVERYBODY across the globe!

: / www . huffingtonpost 2013/08/07/unauthorized-streaming-felony_n_3720479 . html

: / www . washingtonpost blogs/the-switch/wp/2013/08/05/sopa-died-in-2012-b ut-obama-administration-wants-to-revive-part-of-it /

: / www . techdirt articles/20130805/12472124074/administration-cant- let-go-wants-to-bring-back-felony-streaming-provis ions-sopa . shtml

and the video which caused us to find out about this horrible thing...remove the spaces, and spread the word...

: / www . youtube watch?v=1fTt4K4Cae4

SPREAD THE WORD!


	5. Chapter 5

**...You know I love you guys too much to **_**not**_** write this, eh?**

**But hey... I had a pretty fucked up day that I wont talk about due to boardness on your part, but here's this chapter: PROBABLY INFESTED WITH MILLIONS OF MISTAKES! I'M SORRY! I QUICKLY READ OVER WITH SPELL CHECK BUT THAT'S ALL THE PROOF-READING I COULD DO FOR NOW! Lol... Yes, I promise I will one day go back and fix all the bloody mistakes everywhere. I'm just having a hard time FINDING time!**

**But Anyways! This chapter is pretty much all Megs... (I really don't know what to say other than that plain fact...) Hey, but: Don't worry. We are not shifting from the original story that is the letters, but I guess there actually _will_ be Megatron in this story. *Sigh* I hope I don't screw him up too badly...**

**But hey! This is actually my first actual, actual TFPrime fic, so whoo hoo! I hope you're all enjoying so I'll shut up about shit you don't care about and let you get on with it!**

**Warnings?: Porn! ...Sorta.**

**Enjoy! :D**

**Chaaaaapter Time!**

_"Everyone's favourite..."_

~~V^V~~

Never, in the history of the universe, had an object been shoved into a subspace so quickly.

It was no surprise that the Air Commander and Second had showed up in the Decepticon Leader's personal chambers, really. Since his return from Neutrality, Megatron and Starscream had begun sharing a room again, if only so the Warlord could keep a sharp eye on the Seeker. And things had been going pretty well, considering all his _mate_ had done to earn his wrath. Not to mention it was also convenient. Interfacing was a wonderful way to relieve stress, and Starscream had only been too happy to please his master, ever offering himself without a complaint.

That was the way it should be, Megatron admitted to thinking. This insight into an almost _normal_ "relationship" had taken its tole, and things seemed to be growing less and less counter-productive, and more on the positive side. Starscream had given up on the whole, I-will-be-Leader idea, and was- well...

Content?

Megatron didn't know.

And he hated the sudden yearning to find out.

Unable to imagine what could have possibly happened if Starscream had discovered what exactly he had been doing, Megatron simply schooled his expression into indifference, and resigned himself to acknowledge the Seeker as proper.

It seriously annoyed him how he struggled with something to say.

Fortunately, Starscream took the jump for him, his once scowling features shocked into surprise at seeing his Leader sitting comfortably on their berth. "Lord Megatron," he addressed quickly and quietly, the agitation seemingly bleeding from his frame as both shoulders and wings slacked, the perfect picture of barely contained exhaustion as the Seeker's red eyes dimmed, faceplate taking on a more relaxed set.

Megatron nodded, internally fighting for something to say, though expression showing none of it. Starscream took that as his cue to go on with his busyness and promptly turned towards his desk, carefully unlatching the hinges to his shoulder guards.

Megatron watched his mate, watched him as he placed the bulky guards down upon the desk, watched him as he delicately removed certain plates to allow his wings to flatted against his back. Watched him as he sighed in content, shoulder plates sagging and thruster heals clicking as he dragged himself over to the berth, slipping in beside his mate to lay on his belly, optics immediately falling dim.

As if on its own, a servo gently reached out to fondle one of those precious wings. A hum split the silent air as the experienced claw expertly rubbed circles over the base of the sensitive panels, producing soft pleasure through tuned sensors. "Ooh, was I a good mech today, Mighty Leader?" Starscream mock-sighed, lazily glancing up at his mate with a stupid smile on his face.

Megatron did not reply, merely allowed his other hand to touch the Seeker's free wing, brushing over the thin plating in long delicate strokes. With a grin and a sigh, Starscream laid his helm in his arms, pressing his body closer to his mate's, comfortable and enjoying the treatment.

Playful warmth spread through his fingers as Megatron let himself stare, the beautiful Seeker shifting closing to him as his wings were touched ever so wonderfully. He could feel the timid heat stretching under relaxation, flooding Starscream's frame into a satisfied, cozy set. Claws dipping underneath unto the wings' proper fronts, Megatron traced seems, brushed sensors, played with wires 'til unobjectionable alluring moans of contented pleasure were flying from the drowsy Seeker.

A feeling spread through the Warlord...not arousal, for it was nothing like the intoxicating and often frustrating heat burning under his plating. No...this...this sensation was not of passion or of intimacy. It was warm and pleasant, easeful and soft. And...dare he think it: loving...

He felt relaxed and calm; peaceful, almost. It was a feeling he hadn't experienced in quite some time. The one of perfect content and...happiness? He wasn't sure, but let it bother him did he not. Time was undemanding, particular and far from pertinent. He simply wished to just sit there, undisturbed and untroubled.

At some point, Starscream had wiggled his helm into his Leader's lap, and was by far lost to his dreams, an easy, tired smile still gracing his lips. Perhaps the moment meant nothing to his mate at all, but to Megatron... The Warlord felt himself smile, a claw still tracing invisible patterns on a wing whilst the other brushed over his Seeker's helm. It amazed him how not a single sign of age seemed to mark him, how perfect he looked, even after all these years.

Megatron of course scoffed at the idea of the both of them being 'ancient', they honestly weren't _that_ old, and were young enough to still fight. By a _long_ shot. But still... He enjoyed how lovely his little whore was.

Instead of that annoying and unexplainable pain churning in his spark at the naming of his own mate a whore, a thought arose. A thought...of one of the letters he had read.

_"If I'm your whore, you're mine too." _

Alright. He'd play that game, then. Considering how much he loved to pound his Seeker into the berth anyway, he supposed he was at the very least a slut for him!

Funny, how he didn't mind.

Still too aware to fall into recharge, Megatron contemplated the possibilities for pulling out another letter... Immediately he wanted to discard the thought as stupid. What if the Seeker were to wake? Then what?

Still, though, he wanted to continue reading, that much he knew. And arguing that it probably was best to get up from the berth to reside in a more secure location was pointless. But, for an odd reason, he didn't want to move. Not the he couldn't do it without waking Starscream, but he felt comfortable, content, why should he have to spoil his fun? Besides, it wasn't like his mate was waking up anytime soon anyway, and when was the last time Starscream had literally been curled up to him in such a way?

Too long, he almost felt like thinking. But he didn't. Because he didn't actually care. Oh no. He was just simply too awfully comfortable to move. It had nothing to do with the Seeker, his slim and fragile body so near to his own. How he looked so peaceful and unprotected in recharge. How Megatron felt his spark stirring at the thought how easily he could be hurt if-

A groan split the air.

What in the Allspark was wrong with him?

First these..._feelings_, and now _this? _It was too much.

So, putting the thoughts aside, promising his idiot spark he'd figure them out another time, Megatron reached the into his subspace for the box and the next letter, a servo still absently tracing the lines of the Seeker's helm.

What did he have to fear? Certainly not Starscream. And what were these feelings besides simple, pointless emotions? If Starscream awoke, he awoke. He would not act as childishly as he had when the Seeker first walked in! He had nothing to fear...

...Because he was so confused as to what he felt anyway.

The realization hit with a pang. Was that why he seemed to have such a lack of comment on every letter? Why he felt almost lost at times when he would read what the Seeker had thought and wanted to tell him? He didn't know...

...Perhaps that was what scared him...

Uncertainty.

He had faced much uncertainty in his life. Among the mining pits he could have been crushed any day. Through the gladiatorial arena it was always 'to the death'. Throughout his life it had been "Fight." Kill or be Killed... And that was what Megatron believed. Had always believed. There was no half-afting in war. It was give it all, or have everything taken. Including your spark.

His optics found the Seeker in his lap.

Including the ones you held dear...

A jolt shot through him! Disbelief of the idea beyond all reason shaking his very core. No. No this wasn't _right!_ He was Megatron! He cared for no one! Pit, he taught others to care for no one! Above all he possessed a rational _hatred _for weak emotions such as _love_. It was stupid! A sword was only as strong as its weakest point! To care for another was openly expressing vulnerability; flaunting weakness. The Prime himself once held a mate, and look where that got him!

...Well, it was never actually proven that Elita One was offlined, but when she was supposedly locked in statis, and thrown out into the universe... Optimus had been devastated...crushed... The Decepticons won many victories simply for that one stroke of luck that the Prime's mate no longer stood by his side, and even before that, blackmail and taunting's were always a lovely way to bait the mech.

What it could possibly feel like to watch someone you care about be hurt and tortured, Megatron didn't know; because he despised such a weakness. Utterly, and completely, hated it.

Sure, bondmates within the army happened, but it was never approved by the high-ranks and officers! The idea of being chained to another by an emotion as fragile and condemning and as absurd as _love_ was **terrifying** to them.

Megatron had made it that way.

If you were high in the army and in command, it was almost a job requirement to be-!

...Lonely.

~~V^V~~

An eternity could have passed, and the Warlord wouldn't have noticed. His processors had stopped. Time no longer moved, and his thoughts no longer existed. His spark couldn't handle the stress of its own outrageous and twisted ideas. It was confused. He was confused. About what he felt, about what he knew, about what he _believed_. Primus fuck it all to the Pit. For the first time in eons he truly felt _weak. _Pathetic, like just another sniveling Autobot.

So his thoughts shut out, refused to be moved or processed. His spark faded in his chest, wallowing in its tormented existence.

After _everything_. All he had been through. All he _said _and _done_, and worked so very hard for... After eons, now, he was questioning himself. His thoughts. His feelings. His actions.

Everything.

Because he was so very, very confused.

The pit-stricken _feelings _had caused an uprising, a riot of thoughts and emotions contradicting each other, battling for truth. What were these new and pointless feelings shouting? How dare they attack what he had believed in for _so long. _

_Peace, through tyranny. _

_..._That one simply line held so many meanings, witnessed so much destruction. A battlefield had been born. And that was what their world had become. That was what Cybertron had been destined to.

The cycle had repeated itself, another Great War took its course, and their world had died. So once again: Kill or be _Killed_. Fight, or _Die_. That was what he knew. Had always known. The war had taken itself to Earth, and it was still the same. Still the same fight Megatron had lost himself in long ago, and he cared for nothing else.

A memory hit him; unexpected and odd. One from the very day Starscream and himself had spent in the library. From that of a play, the writer Dreamdark had written:

_When drowned in battles and fightings, it is easy to forget ones self, and it is easy to find a peace among the lunacy of war, for no other concerns shall find the mech that tries, no worries to love shall sting he who pushes his own spark on though all others may fail him. With set beliefs and a shield to the outside world, he then pursues the path he finds is his destiny, and is in need of nothing and no one. _

The theatrical performance had been centered around a single mech, an ex-warrior who's family had long since been destroyed. The protagonist wandered as a Bounty Hunter and Outlaw of Vos, taking on any fight he should find, and never feeling a thing for the ones he left dead. In the end, the play turned tragic and the protagonist was killed, saving the life of an exiled femme he had let his spark slip to.

The play had originally been about 'the value of love', or some other nonsense, the protagonist finding 'true peace' before his death, the one he loved right there by his side, but Megatron had passed it on as nothing but a warning.

Never allow one to get close to you. It was a death sentence in itself.

And that was what he had believed for _millennia_.

Had never questioned it. Love was idiotic and pointless. It put in danger not only yourself, but the person you cared for as well! Obviously, it was actually a selfless thing to do to deny another your spark, keep it hidden; keep it safe. You were protecting the both of you. What was better than that?

A familiar pain churned in his core. Of course. There was no bloody way to twist this, was there? And there was no point in actually attempting reading another letter, too. He didn't have the courage, and most likely, would not for a while.

Releasing a sigh of frustration, the ache in his chest growing more potent by the minute, Megatron reached for the letter he had dropped at is side, and subspaced it with a whoosh. Checking his internal chronometer, the Warlord grunted at the Earth time of 2:08 Ante Meridiem. Enough wasting, it was time for recharge.

Lifting Starscream's helm just enough to slip down into a comfortable position, Megatron couldn't even gather the gut to smirk as the Seeker instantly cuddled his much lighter and smaller frame next to his, helm on his chest, and chassis pressed flat to his side.

Instead he merely wrapped a protective arm around his frame, optics growing dim as he settled down for recharge.

And spark pulsing unpleasantly within his chest, swirling with confusion at his 'feelings', Megatron barely let his lips form a grimace as his suddenly tired eyes found his Seeker's body, pulled so very close to his own.

He was exhausted... So perhaps he merely imagined himself saying too softly for the words to have actually whispered from his mouth: "Haven't we spent enough time hating each other...?"

~~V^V~~

The Warlord's dreams were unpleasant, but when his processor rebooted into its natural fully aware state, he could do nothing to remember the twisted nightmares; just that he hated them.

In a sour mood, Megatron grumpily turned his head to see his Seeker stretching by the berth, his plating replaced and all intact, wings fluttering with some sort of excitement. Megatron had known Starscream long enough to read much emotion by those beautiful wings of his.

As if sensing optics on him, Starscream turned, and smiled at his leader, albeit dangerously. Swooping down to the berth beside his half-propped-up mate, a clawed digit found itself tapping circles on the much bulkier frame, and Starscream's smile grew to a smirk. "Did you recharge well, My Lord?"

The question was innocent. Too innocent.

The answer was obvious. No.

Yet still Megatron's optics narrowed, suspicion masking his features. What was Starscream planning? For yes, he knew that mischievous glint in his eyes. Oh, did he know that look. This...probably wasn't going to end well for himself, he guessed; whatever the Seeker was up to.

Starscream put on an expression of mock-hurt. "So un-trusting, of _me_, your Second in Command."

"Quiet, mate," Megatron grumbled without thinking.

Surprise hit Starscream's expression. Real surprise. Unabridged and quite relevant.

By practice alone, Megatron's features did not move, allowing him to pull off the slip easily. But that did not mean his spark wasn't spinning in its chamber, his thoughts weren't frozen on themselves, he could have moved for the life of him. He watched Starscream suddenly smirk, that alluring and forewarning (as Megatron had come to understand it) glint back in his gaze, more potent and unleashed than ever before.

Megatron somehow found himself on his back, his Seeker kneeling over him, legs opened over his chest, and arms lazily plopped by his helm. Starscream's optics were dark and lustful, and Megatron could smell the unhidden scent of lubricant wafting leisurely through the air and into his olfactory censors.

Shamelessly and suddenly aroused, Megatron let out a growl deep from within his vocals. So his Seeker wanted a frag, eh? Very well. He was only to happy to oblige.

But as it turned out, Starscream had other plans.

Megatron watched, almost warily, as Starscream slowly descended down his frame, claws tracing seems and plating until finally resting atop his interface panel. A slick glossa ran across the pannel's front, the Seeker's eyes never leaving those of his mate's, and Megatron's frame reacted on its own, the sudden and unadalterated sting of pleasure hot and intoxocating.

Trying his very best not to gasp as his spike came into contact with the cool air, Megatron could not keep back the moan of conflicting pleasure as his impressive length was swallowed all at once, or the buck of his hips as Starscream _drove him mad. _

The Seeker had wasted no time, not even teasing him, and was working the Warlord's way to overload, much more quickly than any mech or femme should have been able to.

He sucked and licked, rolled and squeezed, rubbed and tugged 'til Megatron was a sticky, melting pool of gathering heat and pressure. The world around him seemed to sway, the room too damn fucking hot and colours he wasn't sure were ever even around him popping and flashing in his vision.

It left him moaning, groaning, growling and sometimes screaming, his servos gripping the berth so tight the metal bent and squeeled under his grasp into compesed balls of clenched sheets.

Megatron cried out as the Seeker smacked his lips, taking the spike in hand once more with a devilish grin of sinful pleasure. Long since having lost his sanity, all he could think 'more, more, more!' terrifyingly pleasently.

If there was anything Megatron could not stand, it was the loss of control. And Starscream left him _helpless_.

Overload was close, he knew, and couldn't seem to give a damn about anything over than release, the pressure deep within him, ever building in storm of liquidated fire! It wanted out, the pleasure twisting in his core too much for him to handle.

He was a volcano, just brimming on the edge of erruption.

And with one final squeeze, the Seeker's cheeks probably hallow from sucking, Mount Megatron exploaded.

~~O-O~~

With the force of a starship, blasting off into space, Megatron roared, his body bucking, trasfluid bursting into a waiting mouth, colours streaking endlessly across an over intensified white. The climax of his pleasure had his frame trembling, shaking as his spark spun round and round...missing...something...

~~oUo~~

It was a while before the Gooy Master of all Decepticons came online again, the-

Wait. Came online?

Megatron placed an almost numb servo to his helm, groaning, his processor struggling to properly align what his sight was taking in whilst trying to recall the last time getting sucked off had knocked him off the world of the wake.

A light little laugh from a sultry, familiar voice seemed to set the world straight, and Megatron looked to find the sight of his mate sitting by the edge of the berth, transfluid still splattered on his face. With a hum, and of course, never braking eye contact, Starscream wiped a careful hand over his faceplate, and seductively lapped the fluid from his fingers.

The buldge between his legs aweared Megatron that his spike was taking harshly to the imagry, and so he worked hard in attempting to look away, body still numb, but warm. Of course, he failed, and he could only grumble when the Seeker laughed over something, bending down to once again lie over his mate.

Megatron could feel Starscream's exposed, and quite erotically _wet_ valve, dripping lubricant agaisnt his plating, and was more than ready to shove his spike into the plush and inviting heat of the port, when Starscream temporily put all those thoughts to rest with a simple kiss to his lips. A grin drew to the Seeker's beautiful facial features, and he pulled back, saying cheekily, "You can repay me later, _mate_."

Again his spark lunged, hurting and practically ready to jump from his frame if only to merge with that of his _mate's_.

And it ached ever more as Megatron watched, stupified, the Seeker walk from the room, leaving with a only the natural sway of his hips.

~~U,U~~

Stepping from his private wash wracks, Megatron made a b-line for the berth, a towel lazily tossed over his shoulder. After a hot shower, he had decided once again to let his idiot spark know he would deal with these...feelings...later.

For that was all he could do.

Dropping his aft down on the berth, he reached to his subpace for the box and the next letter, determined once again to read, find out what happened that had...yeah, and not be such a coward. Honestly. Megatron feared nothing!

So why in the fuck was he hiding in his berth-room and not down at the Command Centre?

...Because everyone needs a break every once in a while! Yes, even evil tyrantral Warlords.

So, settling back against the helm-board, Megatron was pleasently surprised with a rather short letter compared to other recent ones. Good. That's what they all should be. So he can get them done faster... And not have to hide in his personal chambers anylonger-

SO HE COULD GET HIS VACATION OVER WITH!

Because that was excatly what he was doing.

His spark could shut the fuck up. Idiot.

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_How fares you, Bondmate? How goes the war? Do we presist, or are we being pushed back? I do not know... The war still resides across the planet, and word is almost never scent to Vos. I have not__ seen you for...a while now. How are you? Do you believe this war will end? Will we all ever have a future? Or will this quest to reshape ourselves leave us in ruins? _

_The same problems circle day by day. Hunger. Pain. Loved ones missed. Nothing has changed much. I am merely cought in the same day by day routine..._

_I think of the last day we were together. It was last I wrote, as well... I still wonder, is there hope for our kind; this war? Yes... I suppose I have to believe in that. Believe in you._

_But, all and ends, you still would not speak to me of anything, would you? Despite the few years we have been apart... I wish you here. If only to braks this endless and monotoned existance._

_I suppose I hate you for leaving me here, but, dare I say it, I miss you as well._

_~Starscream_

* * *

Megatron grew silent, if only for a second... His spark churned, forcing memories, thoughts, and wants of ages past to arise. He shuddered cowerdly. No. No he wouldn't think of it. Not...yet, anyway.

Again promicing his spark he'd figure this all out later, he went on, knowing in his soul he didn't actually want to; but needed to.

**Note Time!**

_"Ahh, nobody likes this part..."_

**Shut up, Robert. The chapter may be over but its always good news to know there will be more!**

_"Whatever... Check out my long and squiggly arms... They're awesome..."_

~~oUo~~

**Yes...yes they are. ANYWAY! I hope you enjoyed, please leave a review, and if you could, I would love if you checked out the poll on my page about whatever story I should post next. Sadly, they're all G1, but hey, at least they all got Screamer in them! :D Oh yeah. No Starscream's not having future-vision psychic-things(!) or whatever, he just a little depressed at the moment, (time line letters wise) and sees his own world at least of Vos stuck in a sad little loop that will seemingly go on forever... :( **

**Anyway, I know I'm totally forgetting something, but its late and I gotta go sleep. School tomorrow... Alright so I do my courses at home (call me a freak for 'home-schooling', I don't care) but still! D: **

**ANYWHO! On a more positive note, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all you who support this story. I promise it will be awesome. :D **

**~Scarlet!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm not even going to make excuses...**

**Yeah I'll just wait to the end of this chapter to speak. Short chapter is shooooooort! But...sad. I mean... You are going to hate past-Megatron. **[SPOILERS!] **I mean, I'm ready to fucking kill him, okay? I'm like...in tears. Like, what the fuck? Seriously. Okay, I'll shut up, and you read the chapter. But warning: If you're a girl, you're sensitive, love Screamer, and will cry because of the stupid and insensitive things men can do, just... I'm with you bro, I'm with you...**

* * *

**Chapter Time**

Dear Megatron,

_The days go by with never a word from you. This war has not raged for very long, all history considered, and yet I feel as if an eternity has past. A blank stretch of time that I cannot escape from. Mechs dead; families broken; homes lost. It's a void. A black abyss of a repetitive nature. How can you stand it? The same day by day retinue and passings? _

_Or is it better on the field?_

_Here, at home, I can do nothing; nothing as my people starve. Out there... I know I could do something! _

_I hate you for leaving me here; forgetting me. I dare to say I miss you, and yet... Never a word... _

_Please, just come home..._

_~Starscream_

* * *

My Dearest Megatron!

_I am beaming with excitement! Finally, after all this time! You are returning. A military visit, I know, but won't you spend the night with me, at the least? Oh love, oh Megatron. Finally you stupid grounder! I can hardly keep myself from laughing like a mad-mech._

_I don't care any longer- I've missed you! I missed you so much! Please hurry back! Two weeks is simply too long! _

_See you soon,_

_~Starscream_

* * *

Megatron found himself smiling, despite the strange feeling telling him he shouldn't, that these were bad memories, memories of days he had discarded his mate for nothing behind his thoughts, had dropped into the endless pool of the game that was war... Something in his spark told him he shouldn't be happy, but, reminding the idiot that he'd deal with this later, he reached for the next letter, completely unfazed.

What was so wrong with feeling content with the mate of his past?

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_Oh this waiting is tearing me to shreds! I have been smiling for days thinking about the many ways I'll be pleasing both you and I when the time comes, and even though the erotic daydreams have kept me busy, I'm still being torn apart in anticipation! Everything must be perfect! I want you to know that I care for the cause and am doing anything I can to help. And that I haven't forgotten you, love._

_No. Never._

_So please hurry back!_

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_Tomorrow you are to show! Just one more day! Oh I cannot wait any longer! Please, please hurry! The generals all wait, and although they walk with grim expressions and dread in their sunken optics, silently declaring me a fool for wanting your return, I cannot help it. I a not stupid, I know something is up; it is serious; that you will not tell me scrap. But I'll not shudder at that if it means just one more night with you. _

_~Starscream_

* * *

Megatron,

_I meant to meat you at the gate, not in a splendid showing with many servants and guards flanking behind me with a short and yet elegant "Welcome Home," speech, (though still the idea is appealing,) and rather...just as me. I want to see you, but of course I cannot._

_I hate this. There is always a problem! Dealing me from the things I want to do... The damn priorities of the mane office... Ugh, I won't bore myself in righting explanations. I have to go, yet still, I cannot wait until tonight. _

_~Starscream_

* * *

Dear Megatron,

_You are with my generals __still__. You have been in there all day... Oh, yes I understand you have duties! And that the situation of the war must be desire somehow, but still! I want to spend the evening- no, the night - midnight, dawn, anything- with __my bondmate__._

_Please__ stop taking forever! Honestly I'm tired of having to self-service! I need a damn frag! _

_Starscream! _

_Dear Megatron, _

_Oh how I love that spike of yours. Honestly I should be furious with you. I was on my way to speak with someone! (Definitely not to find you!) You have no right to come from nowhere, and great me for the first time in __years__ with a slap to my unsuspecting aft! I thought you were some hooligan!_

_And what's wrong with you?! I've never interfaced in some back ally before! Of course I'd object! _

_Oh but how I'm going to kiss you tonight..._

_My knees buckle at the thought. Whatever that animalistic, odd, so wonderfully satisfying thing was will be nothing compared to when you have me under you, when you claim me once again, make me yours, all the way... I cannot wait._

_Still...the feeling of my tank dropping out from under me when I saw you again replays hopelessly in my mind. I can't explain why my spark hurts so much, but I want you. Want you more than for just five minutes in a back ally for a quickie up against stone. Really, __I'm__ better than that. _

_But I love you enough to let this one slide._

_This one._

_~Starscream_

* * *

Megatron starred, gut twisting, spark wrenching, wanting to be heard. "No." He growled darkly, ignoring it. No he wouldn't fall victim to those thoughts. The Seeker had been going through some strange phase. He. Did. Not. Care.

* * *

_Dear Megatron _

_I shall see you soon, I know. But I cannot wait! I've polished my armour, shined my pedes, washed my frame clean, all simply to look perfect, for you, my mate. _

_In a moment I'll be on my way to meat you again, and although it will be at the beastly party you and the rest of the grounders that accompanied you to my city are throwing for whatever reason, I won't mind. Not so long as I get to see you again, love._

_~Starscream_

* * *

Megatron found himself smiling. It was an odd feeling churning in his spark, something pleasant, though... So his beautiful mate went to all that trouble for him, eh? Well...then he'd pay him back, even if it was centuries late, he'd do something for his Seeker; buff his armour up, make their night memberable.

Reaching for the next letter, confusion suddenly trapped him when, yet again, he saw the imprints of tried tears staining almost the entirety the ancient metal slab.

A memory fought to arise, but he pushed it away; afraid. He feared to ask himself what had happened, so instead, he read on.

* * *

_Megatron..._

_I- _a blotch- _I have no words for you, you sick, ungrateful, uncaring, bastard! _

Suddenly unsure, Megatron battled the uneasy feeling to turn away from the letter, that one particular night rising thoughts and piecing together parts of the puzzle.

No...

_You-you...you slagger! You uncaring, son of a glitch! Leave me and my city! Never return, you cheating, no good, filthy grounder! I should have never, even remotely, let you into my spark. _

_Goodbye and never call on me again!_

_Starscream._

* * *

Megatron's gut twisted, a flashback hitting unexpectedly, dread consuming his spark.

_The heat of the roaring fire blared off my frame, reflecting crimson in my lustful optics. I grinned at the slutty femme-bot before, thoughts only centered around my spike and what it would feel like inside of her. _

_Our mouths met; I tasted high-grade rolling off the nameless whore's glossa, and smirked into the kiss. This would be easy._

_Shifting on the scrappy set up couch, I loomed over my prey, tugging her shapely hips under me and growling above her; asserting my dominance. _

_She moaned like a slut. And I chuckled, ready to enter her._

_A terribly pain suddenly flashed in my spark, and although barely showing it, I looked up._

_To my horror, standing, or really trembling, in an ally, was my bondmate. He looked absolutely stunning. Armour glinting the brightest among the crowd, petite physique slanted and striate. "Perfection,"; his body said, but his wings were low, and - when finally my optics met his - his expression, broken._

_As if the ugliest mech had just stepped into my view, my arousal drained away, and I simply starred, too caught up in the shock of my mate seeing me with another to do anything. _

_Betrayal, was what his swollen eyes said. Betrayal; disgust, and plain hurt. Tears of blue slipped down his faceplate in rivers. His mouth was open, knees buckling, pedes shaky._

_I could say nothing. Do nothing. Damnit. I had been caught._

_The whore beneath me gave a needy moan, and suddenly I frowned, arousal once again peaking back in my joints._

_So what if I was with another? I never looked at Starscream any differently for the many other mechs I imagined he had interfaced with. _

_Out of the corner of my optic, I watched him jerk away, running as fast as he possibly could on his skinny legs. _

_I let him get away._

**Note Time...**

**...Sexual infidelity is one of the hardest things marriage can endure. That betrayal of trust is devastating to the spouse, who, in this case, was completely faithful. ****I can only imagine it is the same in a bond, if not more crushing due to the fact that the bond is a more than just a joining, it is a spiritual merge that cannot be undone. But any healthy bond is structured on commitment, and when that commitment is disregarded, it is devastating to the bond or marriage. **

******As of the moment, I am not really in the right of mind to speak, so I'll simply leave with that, and 2 things.**

******1: I apologize to any of the male gender reading this. At the beginning, I said the insensitive things 'men' can do. I was being albeit biased, and for that, I am sorry. Woman are just as capable of hurting there spouse as well.**

******2: I meant to go on with this chapter, but circumstances state that I cannot write any more so I shall continue next chapter. On a good note, the next ne shall be here soon, and will posses an (hopefully) equal balance of letters and the present time. It will be here soon, and beware for there will be some actual smutty goodness next time ;)**

******Goodnight or Good-Day, I shall see you with a new chapter, trying not to cry my eyes out, of course...**

******Well! Please leave a review! (Reviews make me happy = happiness makes me want to write ;]) **

******~Scarlet **


	7. Chapter 7

**WARNING? USUAL... YOU'LL FIND, PROBABLY, A MILLION MISTAKES. ;/**

**Promised I'd be back. :) Ahh, thank you all SO MUCH for the reviews, faves and fallows! You don't know how much they mean to me. **

**Now, how do I excuse the crappiness of this chapter? Well, for one: I lost practically a whole night of sleep for it. And two: well...I wrote a good bit**** of this between the hours of 1-5 in the morning two days ago! XD So...yeah, I don't think it's honestly that great, but, I did get a mega-fast update, and I think you'll feel at least a little better as the reasonings behind Megatron's actions are explained... Sorta. **

**Well, I love Megs, so I just couldn't leave him with everyone hating him... - though, yes, the douche deserves it, T,T - And it bothered me enough to get to writing this. **

**And well since the update is so fast, I'm not going to feel guilty about how bad this chapter is!... Hopefully...**

**...I'm really sorry! I can do better, yes, but I really, really wanted to get this out there, so please just endure it! D: **

**Well, I'll shut up and let you get to it, then...**

**Chapter Time! ...Yay...**

_"Oh you pathetic waste of time," I spat at the trembling Seeker. "What'd you expect me to do!?"_

Megatron groaned, wishing the unplesant images would stop...

_"What do y-you mean by that?" Starscream shook, awkwardly getting to his pedes, feverently wiping at his teary optics. The dent of where I had slapped him quite visual, I growled; patience lost. I had decided to come up the towers, if only to try and set things strait. But all I had found for my trouble was a sobbing Seeker, unwilling to even look at me, screaming for me to leave and never return. I had hit him then. _

_And it had felt good, too. My little whore had seemed to have gotten it in his helm that I gave a damn about him, or would actually put off interfacing for __six years__, just because of him. _

_The feeling of his softer metal crumpling beneath my hand sent a feeling through me. One of dominance and power. I was this little Seeker's master. And I would not stand for insolence. _

_Putting aside the thought of beating my own mate for continuing to cry, I answered darkly. "Did you expect me to hold myself simply for __you__ for all this time? Did you expect me, to deny myself any physical pleasure, just because my regular was not around?!" I was angry. So terribly angry. I could feel my spark spinning in its chamber, hurt. I ignored it, though, unable to understand the contradicting feeling of mistrust I felt towards him. _

_Something in Starscream's optics than broke. Something I couldn't place. Something I tried not to care about. "And why should have I!?" I then raged on, heated emotions that I wasn't sure where they had arisen from surfacing. "When you-!"_

_"When I what, Megatron?" _

_The sound of my mate's tone; quiet; demanding; broken; __almost pitying__ brought me from my rage. I meant to accuse him of sleeping around just as much as I had, of being pathetic and weak for pretending to care; of yelling I had only done what I did because I - my spark gave an unnatural clench - because...because I missed him, and because I couldn't stand the fact he was no doubt fragging around, too! I meant to scream all that, but my glossa fell short._

_"What did you think I did whilst you were away?" His gaze was level, watery._

_I wanted to reply, 'fucked around like the common whore,' but his next words caught my screwed expression._

_"I never so much as looked at another. So why? Well..." his optics glanced towards the floor, tears once again filling them. But eyes shimmering and vocals low, hurt, yet steady, he looked to find my optics with his own, saying. "I suppose that was what I had done." With that, he turned, walking towards, not the door, but the balcony. _

_I froze, watching with dim optics him steadily jump from the railing, my audios picking of the screech of a flash-quick trasformation only a flier as skilled as himself could pull off, and my increasingly blurring gaze stared as he flew away into the sun, disappearing in the many colours decorating the honey-warm sky._

_Knives stabbed in my spark, the blades twisting as I watched the tiny silhouette vanish among the clouds, thoughts of the few close moments we had shared far away and seemingly from that of a fairy tale. I almost wished I had never left when I did. Had never gone away, back to the blackness and unfeeling cruelty of war. It was too much watching him fly away, too much seeing the one thing I could say I felt something for simply walk from my life because of my actions. Why did I ever interface with another? Why let myself fall into that trap? _

_Jealousy?_

_Revenge?_

_I had thought, ever since the day we were bonded, that Starscream had been interfacing with other mechs. The way they all starred after his perfect frame, the many fliers them... Sometimes, on the few occasions I visited, I'd see him wink at another, or make some other alluring action, and I was certain my whore was not mine at all._

_But now he was gone... Something felt so very wrong about that._

_So I tore my optics from the dimming sky, dragged my aft to the berth, and lay there, my vision still unexplainably blurry, something...wet, leaking from my dim and tired eyes. I did not move, and merely waited; counted the seconds until I could leave this cursed city, and all these bad memories behind._

~~;_;~~

Megatron had done his best to forget that day. He'd let himself slip into the endless war of battles and death, and had commanded more sternly; the name Megatronus sounding so very far behind he almost wondered where he expected to be in the years to come. But he did not; because he had already known. Fighting, in the endless war.

And yet, the image of those broken optics haunted him, haunted him until he had finally found his mate again, so many years later.

The letters went on, and he knew that there was so much more to the story, but he couldn't help but feel that, for now, that was enough of this chapter. They'd come to the end of the scene, a small intermission was due, and he needed to step out of his room, his helm full of thoughts he didn't want to think, and his spark...stabbed, by the same, invisible daggers that it had been millenia ago.

~~A.A~~

The corridors were dark, just like his mind. The dreary light of many lamps illuminated his path, but the seldom quiet of the deep hallways left a savourless depression to stir miserably amidst his thoughts.

Megatron was, by no means, an emotional mech, but...he could not help feeling that these seemingly new emotions were something he could not handle. They tarnished his reputation, or at least they would, but...he simply hurt inside, the new emotions, _used_, almost. Tossed and tumbled...he just didn't understand it all! And yet, the dreading guilt playing roommate to the dark Energon weighing his spark down into the painful depths of an oblivion-worthy abyss, he allowed it all to torture his mind into pondering what it was that he felt towards Starscream. For he had too. Could do nothing other.

He was trapped.

The emotions had created a cage with no visible lock to be picked. Sooner or later, he'd have to face this.

The unexpected click of a door being opened hissed to his right, and, out of habit, Megatron straitened, glancing over to once again see none other than Starscream stepping into the hall, distracted, not paying any attention to the world around.

_But not yet._

Wondering both if his mate was somehow _everywhere_ on the Nemisis, and where exactly on said ship he was, he took a step towards the unsuspecting Seeker. Movements graceful and swift, Megatron slipped a sudden arm around Starscream's waist, in an instant pinning him to the wall.

Fear jumped to Starscream's shocked expression, and it stung. But, siding it with the many other aches suffocating his spark, Megatron let a servo slip down soft metal, coming to rest on an open thigh. The fear then dissipated almost as quickly as it had arisen, Starscream realizing he was not in danger. Faceplates close, a smirk pulled to his lips, and Megatron felt the heat of his frame warming under his touch.

Captivated by the glimmer in Starscream's optics, Megatron was almost confused at the trust that showed. He wouldn't hurt him, the Seeker knew, so everything was alright. But everything wasn't alright. Not for Megatron at least, what should have been a passionate moment was stalled - only for a second, mind you - by his roaming thoughts.

_Why let me even touch you after all the horrible things I have done to you, Starscream? _

He should've hated him, Megatron thought. And yet there his Seeker was, frozen in the moment, warm beneath his touch, and apparently waiting for him to make a move.

Not one to disappoint, Megatron lent forward, taking his mate's mouth in a firm, but gentle kiss. Apology bled from his frame, intertwined with the glossas that danced in the caverns of their intakes. It was silent, and something Starscream couldn't have known he was saying, but he took the most care in pressing his body to his own, kissing and not scraping, stroking and not clawing. The kiss was deep; meaningful, its carriers humming to the joining their mouths played. Starscream relaxed his delicate frame into that of his master's, and Megatron moved to simply hold him in his arms against the rough smoothed steel of the wall.

It felt right to kiss his mate as such, the dreading feeling in his spark fading away, if only temporarily, and he was just letting his servos wander a little farther, when the unthinkable - though, looking back, actually quite predictable - happened.

"I KNEW it!" a normally voluptuous and tantalizing voice squealed.

_Wrenching_ away from each other, Supreme Commander and Second turned swiftly to stare, horrified, at Knock Out, who stood at the end of the corridor...giggling like a deranged sparkling.

"Oh no..." Megatron heard Starscream say as the medic suddenly skipped to a turn, _hopping_ away!

Barely taking notice of the surprising amount of Vehicons and Erodicons fleeing for their lives, Megatron fought to up hold his impassive expression. Vorns of war had taught his features to not show the proper emotion he felt, and usually, a default of neutrality.

Looking to Starscream though, he felt his face taking on a strange expression, one mixed of many emotions.

The Seeker, however, appeared down-right _mortified_, if not a tad bit murderous. Megatron couldn't help the thought that a few drones may unexplainably be found up dead in the coming cycles. Though the drones were more than expandable, secretly he found it an inconvenience when officers would take whatever frustration they had out on them. Though it was best they got it out, he saw it as a waste of a perfectly fine soldier or worker when the lot ended up dead over petty squabbles. Really, there was the Training Centre and Autobots for that. But, then again, who was he to honestly talk?

Fully expecting a glare to strike out on the Seeker's expression once their optics met, Megatron was albeit taken aback when instead of a smoldering glower, a more annoyed than anxious look brightened his eyes.

"I should probably chase after that," Starscream said after a moment of silence.

Megatron nodded, a grimace working its way onto his faceplate. "Probably best," he agreed.

Starscream was about to run off, when Megatron called, much, _much_ too softly for his liking, "Wait."

"Wha-?"

Starscream did not have time to finish before he was tugged against Megatron's broad chassis. Optics wide, lips parted in breathless question...Megatron kissed that startled, too innocent look, right about ready to shove him to the nearest wall and...take part in acts of extreme...public indecency.

Oh, the...horror. ...Ha.

But he didn't, one for that it would be in his dignities best interests for Starscream to catch up to Knock Out, and throughly beet - in which ever way he chose - what the medic saw out of him, for two because Starscream would throughly complain about it later for a multitude of reasons: gossip; pictures; video footage! Who knew. The Vehicons were a bunch of dirty voyeurs, after all.

As they drew away, a questioning smile lingered on Starscream's faceplate. "What's gotten into you?" he laughed, still pressed against his mate.

Megatron smirked, merely kissing him again. "You," he said, and let him go before another word could be exchanged.

~~oUo~~

He sat alone in his chambers, the lighting dimmed to a dull, purple sort of shade, and the whole of the quarters quiet; not a sound other than the _drip drip dralp _of the tap in the wash racks, just slightly turned ajar. That one little noise was the only disturbance in the gloomy silence, his own shadow looming across the open floor, the bulk of his frame darkening the ground to a black blacker than midnight, shoulder-spikes appearing as peaks of death that twisted into the velvet-shaded sky.

This was crazy. It all was. What was wrong with him? This shouldn't have been happening.

Lord Megatron was an unfeeling brute, a Warlord who had begun a revolution! He was an icon to the Decepticons, had always been, would always be. He was the symbol of darkness, of pure evil, so the Autobots said. He was merciless and tough. Cruel and egotistic.

That was who the Supreme Commander was. The image of Lord Megatron had taken decades to mold, to take the shape of the very descendant of Unicron, The Destroyer. Lord Megatron was _The Enemy _of the Prime, a child of Primus. He was unchangeable; solid; sturdy and stubborn.

Lord Megatron was who he _was._ Who he had become... Right?

Lord Megatron was an icon, an unfeeling Warlord...

So then who was Megatron?

~~O...O~~

He needed a break. His helm hurt, his joints creaked from inactivity, and his spark was simply a mess. His thoughts, his own mind, was no longer a place of sanctuary. No. It was a hell hole, full of memories, ideas, past wants and needs. The quietness of his steady thought pattern had been corrupted by the unwanted emotion, moving along so fast he could barely grasp it. Something was wrong with him. But he knew, deep down, that this was no medical issue. His spark was split in two; the present, desperately grasping to what it knew, what was familiar; the uncaring show of Lord Megatron; the past... He had never confronted these...emotional needs. Had never looked at what he felt, or tried to understand it.

The relationship he had with Starscream was forced, political, and most definitely; ruined. Something hadn't worked along the way, it just hadn't worked, and they forgot the title of bondmates, simply falling to Master and soldier. None but Soundwave knew, or even _remembered_ the fact of their bond. It had been a secret, kept hidden for obvious reasons, and they had forgotten it. So why were these thoughts, these emotions that he simply did not know of what they even were, twisting a knot in his core, making him regret, hurt, wish he had done something different?

It just didn't make sense. He could not name one of the emotions now. He just felt...bad. It was inexplainable. And the more he dwelt on it, the more confusion grappled him. What was wrong with him? Why doubt something so clear as his making? Why ponder the many battles that had molded him from a gladiator to the Slag-Maker Lord Megatron? Why, why, why?

It was all he could ask. And could find no answers, for the questions themselves were unclear. Everything was a mystery, a mystery he just wished he could ignore and it would go away.

But it wouldn't, couldn't. So he'd just half to mech-up and keep reading, see what else had torn them apart, for when they had found each other again, so long later, things had...almost worked. But then-

Megatron shook his head. No. One step, one scene, at a time.

He had not interfaced with any other than Starscream for such a long time... Perhaps- wait. He shouldn't be feeling...bad about this! Starscream had- but...no!

Ugh.

One step at a time. One step at a time...

Deciding then on a whim to quickly jump in the shower, Megatron made his way to the wash racks, flicking on the lights to the wide, bluish-purple room. Heavy footsteps echoing on the dark tile-flooring, he paused to finally switch off the dripping tap and look into the smaller mirror bolted to the wall.

He would have liked to have concluded he looked the same as ever, but the dim glow from his sunken eyes somehow stood out. The crimson orbs shuttered, opening only to find the same, tiredly haunted image. Something was different. He just couldn't tell what. Shrugging it off, he turned, stepping into the large shower-cube, and flipping it on.

Solvent and chemicalized water rushed from above. Megatron sighed, leaning a hand against the foggy-looking wall of the cube as steam quickly rose around his frame. The heat of the steaming fluid was relaxing, solvent creeping into joints and slipping through cables, washing away any dust, and cleaning what dirt could be found. Of course, there was not much filth on him at all, having washed himself the day before and not done much since then.

The day before...

Mere days had passed since he had found the letters, and now look at him, guiltily, and confusingly showering, unsure of what he should think or do.

Reaching for a cloth to begin properly washing his armour, it occurred to him to speak to Soundwave about this, his old friend possibly the only one who could say what was truly going on between himself and Starscream.

Starscream...

His Seeker had been so complaint lately. Since he rejoined the Decepticons, he had been...different, if only slightly, but now... Megatron wished he could see into his thoughts, know what he thought about him, their fucked up relationship, and...what he wanted. What _did_ Starscream want? ...What did he want? Questions worth pondering, and yet, not. Even if Megatron were to admit to himself his own curiosity at what could have been, and what could be, it was still terrifyingly hopeless... There was no hope for them, was there? Or-

Megatron shook his head. There were too many unclear questions. Questions with no answers...

Perhaps first, it would be best to understand what he wanted. Normally, he would never question his own ambitions and visions, but he had been so awfully confused lately. He pictured Starscream, and..._regretted_ ever hurting him, and...never wanted to do it again.

So he did not want to hurt his mate, perhaps that much was clear. It was not certain, nothing was, but it was a start, so now, what did he want, if not just a soldier at his side who played whore when no one was around?

Blankness. Silence slept his thoughts. His spark did not even churn, it simply froze...unwilling to think that.

Now he was confused again.

His idiot spark had pressed and pressed those _feelings_ he had, but yet, now, when he almost wished it would spin, either feeling pained or loved, it did nothing.

What did he want?

His mind was empty, and his spark, still, as if it were too afraid to ask itself that. But why? Megatron grunted in annoyance. Believe it or not, he was honest with himself about what he truly wanted, that fact making his ambition easier guide, and making life clearer in general. But now, his spark could not grasp onto what he wanted, it just..._he_ just, couldn't look there.

The steam from the poring water was coiling about most of the room, shadowing his frame in the almost-transparent cube. Vents quickening, Megatron, after much absent-minded scrubbing, dropped the cloth, reaching a claw to switch off the steady flow of fluid.

A sudden flare of another Energy field stopped his movements. He froze. Slowly, but without really turning around, he glanced over his shoulder at the slighter mech leaning in the door frame.

"Do you mind?" Megatron asked in mock-annoyance.

Starscream smirked. "Oh no, not at all! I'm enjoying myself extensively."

Then he did turn around, crossing his arms to give a stern look at his mate.

Starscream only smiled.

Cheeky bastard.

"How long have you been there?" Megatron asked gruffly, not really minding, just worried that he might have absently muttered something amongst his ponderings that the Seeker could have caught, giving him a clue to what he had been up to.

And Megatron really didn't think he would know what to say or do with him should Starscream have discovered his most recent self-questioning, or, Primus forbid...the letters.

"Oh, a while," Starscream spoke loftily, taking graceful steps towards him. "You can't really _blame_ me. I just _adore_ your frame, after all, _Mighty Leader_." The title came out as a purr, and Megatron fought the urge to grunt at the sudden swelling beneath his interface panel.

"Really," he said, still standing under the steady flow of very slowly cooling solvent and water.

A grin promising sinful pleasure took to Starscream's expression, "_Really._"

~~O~O~~

He moved like an animal. The primal instinct to mate any living being, techno or organic, possessed kicking his interface into over drive. The water washed over them, hot, as hands roomed, stimulating. Heat collected in a sticky pool in his interface, and with a growl, dripping panels grinded together.

The Seeker's cry was barely heard, but the audible click of his burning panel sliding open was. Claws touched, and digits dipped. Starscream let out a sharp gasp, sticky lubricant raining over Megatron's servo. "_More,_" he wined, unsatisfied with the hand and wanting spike.

A growl floated through the steam. Megatron, impossibly aroused, let his hand slip to push against a thigh, baring Starscream's valve for the world to see.

With a predatory snarl, he unleashed his fully erected spike, and bucked hilt deep into the leaking port.

Starscream shrieked, more of pleasure than pain at the large member filling him. He was stretched, pinned against a wall, and loving every moment. Megatron grunted at the tight fit, after millenia, still he had not loosened.

He waited but a second, sanity and control slipping through his digits as Starscream gave a needy cry, arching back against the wall, faceplate tilted up to the raging rush of water, optics shut and mouth agape as he bounced his groin, wordlessly pleading for movement. Stimulated by both imagery and feeling, Megatron bucked into him, drawing back, only to trust back in.

Again and again he clashed their hips, a knot twisting in his core, his frame shuddering from sensors bursting to life, again and again he drove into him until his mate gave in, valve spasming, vocalizer screaming:

"MEGATRON!"

The erratic ripples were enough to tip him over the edge, sensors stimulated to the point of maximum pleasure, and frame so hot the solvent around them disappeared into cloud of mist.

With a roar he exploded, transfluid pumping in a rushing flow up through Starscream's system to a gestation chamber, ever waiting to be filled. Without a merge, though, there was no chance of the Seeker conceiving, but that was the last thing on Megatron's mind, his cooling fans whirling over time, his intake open and panting. He leaned against the wall, Starscream slumped against him.

After a moment the Seeker shifted, moaning and lifting his hips to the best of his ability to free his valve from the mountainous spike. Transfluid washed down their thighs, swept away by the current of flowing water that still sprayed hot. Megatron waited a moment, before flipping the switch to cease the flow of water. And with his mate in his arms, dripping wet and, from the looks of it, still very much aroused, made his way to the berth, gently laying the Seeker down, before slipping in, looming above the much smaller frame.

A lazy grin decorated Starscream's features, and with a shift of his hips, their bodies cooling from the excess of the shower, spread his legs wide, arching his backstrut to provide a pleasant few of his port and belly.

Megatron growled, the fresh sent of lubricant dominant in his olfactory sensors. The open valve smelled of a tangy sort, as always, and he was more than tempted to lean down and taste his mate, pay him back for that little _devious_ performance earlier.

But, once again, his sanity was draining, and with a thrust of his hips, took his mate wholly, utopia surrounding him the instant he slammed into the inviting heat.

"AH! Me-Megatron-!"

A rough pace was formed. Megatron jerked them up, throwing the Seeker in his lap as he continued to pound into him. Up and down, Starscream bounced as Megatron grabbed his hips, bringing him down with all the force he could muster without hurting him...too bad.

"Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!" Starscream's optics were white, his 'field erratic and mixed as he screamed his pleasure. Megatron wasn't much better off. Flipping them around, Megatron shoved Starscream on all fours, taking his shapely hips in hand and grinding into him. Sensors were alighted. Pleasure was hot, so impossibly hot, and with a single cry in unison, their groins smacking together with the clang of each thrust, they let go.

~~V^V~~

Perhaps not the most kinky of interfaces, but satisfying all the same.

Breathless, Megatron rolled over with a groan, careful not to squish his mate who lay panting beside him. Optics dim, Megatron watched him for a little while, a slight smile on his face at the contented sweep of Starscream's wings. He ran a claw down the jet's backstrut.

Cool to the touch, Starscream shivered, the solvent from the shower seeping through his joints, chilling his metal skin.

Megatron stood, carefully, untrusting of his wobbly pedes to support him after that overload, and stepped into their private wash racks to grab a towel off the wall, briskly walking back to his drowsy, shivering mate.

A minute later, they were both dry, but chilly; so, reaching for a thermal blanket under the berth, Megatron allowed the strange question as to why it was suddenly so cold in their quarters to pass through his processor as he draped the soft sheet over the both of them.

Starscream instantly cuddled his frame against Megatron's, nestling comfortably with an arm slung around his waist. Without so much as a word, he was in recharge, completely oblivious to the many thoughts that roomed in the Warlord's mind because of this simple action.

It displayed trust, trust that he didn't know or truly think Starscream had in him. Had something changed recently? Not so very long ago, his Second had practically let him float off into space, - well, he would have, had Lazerbeak not zipped in before Starscream could abandon him - but here he was, pressed so very close to him, as if nothing would hurt him if he stayed by his Leader's side. Starscream claimed to have 'learned his place in the universe,' when he had returned to the Decepticon faction, but what did that mean? And why be so compliant and trusting of him now?

Megatron supposed it could simply be out of gratitude. After all, he had let the sniveling, broken down mech come back from the nothingness of being a neutral when he really didn't have to. Not to mention he had ended Dreadwing for him, too.

Ah, Dreadwing... A fine soldier, honourable, but..._honourable_. He would have made a good Autobot, and Megatron had predicted future treachery, despite how 'honourable' and devoted the mech was. He had a sort of six sense about these sort of things. With Arachnid it was _plain as day _she was just sticking it up simply as long as she had to to get off Earth, her ship destroyed**, **but with the rest of all of his forces, well...most were just predictable. Not as plain as Arachnid, but predictable.

Predictable...

Hmm.

Predicatable.

He remembered the days before Starscream had left the Decepticons. He had taken him to an abandoned Energon mine, prepared to terminate him. It crossed the Warlord's mind that, despite everything and entirely secretly, he had been undecided on what he would actually do. He remembered being almost positive he'd finally deactivate his bondmate, and yet, at the same time, not.

It was hard to admit, or even think of before, but now... Part of him had been counting on the fact Starscream would talk him out of it. Beg for his life like the sniveling cowered he was, or just go for the Hail Prima and jump for an interface, reminding him just why he kept him around. Point was, Megatron knew now that he hadn't exactly wanted to end him. Why else would he have granted him mercy in the abandoned mine? What could've stopped him, other than the deeper want to _not_ end him, from leaving him there to be crushed by the cavern?

Another thought then suddenly appeared to him. Starscream had ran from the Decepticons not long after that incident...

Had...Megatron, perhaps, driven him off?

The Warlord paused, shifting so he could look better at his mate. Over the weeks leading up the event of his defect, Megatron had increasingly belittled and disregarded his mate for nothing. Starscream had been obviously frustrated with his situation, and when Megatron had finally taken it to whence he was going to terminate him...had that pushed him over the edge? That, and the mission he was sent on with Arachnid concerning the Harbinger...

Starscream had apparently had enough of being tossed around for nothing, and had left.

Megatron thought back, remembering how murderously furious he had been when he learned Starscream had declared himself 'Neutral.' It was a logical anger. Starscream was still the Second in Command, and possessed many a Decepticon secret, not to mention he still had, and would always have, as long as he lived, the fact going for him he was Megatron's bondmate. Not that it meant much. They had forgotten it... But-

Though the bond was closed, had been for countless years now, what would it be like to lose him? To no longer know his spark existed next to his own?

Megatron shuddered. He couldn't think of it. Not now at the least.

He had been quite rightly angry at Starscream's treachery for now there had been nothing stopping him from ratting them all out. Which he had done. Several times if the evidence pointing towards how the Autobots showed up with information they shouldn't have had meant anything. But yet, could there have been more to it?

Megatron thought back, trying to remember whatever emotion it had been that coursed through him. Yes he was angry, but, he also had felt...betrayed. What right did Starscream have to turn on a thruster and simply walk out like that? He was the Supreme Commander. He decided what happened, who lived and who died, _not_ Starscream.

That as at least what he had told himself back then.

Megatron shook his helm, once again moving to gently pull a sleeping Starscream unto his bulk, the soft touch of the blanket still wrapped around them.

He closed his eyes, olfactory sensors breathing in the hinting scent of lubricant, and guard lowered more than usual as he drifted off to recharge, the single thought that he'd need to speak to Soundwave - he knew he couldn't keep it to himself forever, and who else was there to tell? - about all this passing through his mind before he faded into blackness.

**Note Time!**

**The End! **

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**Ha! Gotcha! NO IT IS ****NOT**** THE END! I REPEAT IT IS **_NOT_ **THE END.**

**Wow this chapter just sorta went on forever. And no letters, too... *Shakes head* I promise next time there will be lots of letters, as, we are finally getting somewhere in the past. Just hold on. Everything will eventually make sense.**

**So! What'd you think of my crappy smut? XD Oh, and Knock Out's tiny little cameo? Next chapter, Soundwave finally enters the picture, as well that we see a bit of what happened with Starscream and Knock Out. XD Megatron's still the narrator, and I think he will be for the whole story. Sorry. I've just...gotten too used to him for this story. :/ **

**Well, I hope you all can slightly, maybe, just a little, possibly, I repeat- MAYYYYbeee, just a the **_**tiniest**_** bit begin to forgive him. In his defense, he had always believed Starscream interfaced with other mechs, so he thought he may as well do the same. Perhaps if they had actually communicated, things would have SERIOUSLY turned out differently for the world! But they didn't.**

**But hey, it at least appears Megatron really did/does have feelings for Star! But ooh there's more to come...so much more to come... **

**I'm not sure when the next chapter will be here, but it's scientife-acacacally proven that I get around to writing much faster when I'm happy, and any reviews faves or fallows = happiness! And ponies. Who eat rainbows and poop butterflies! 8D "Rise, my minions! Bwhahahaha!" **

**But seriously, every encouraging word I'm received for this story has been incredible. I love you guys _so_ much, so thank you, even if you're just reading, from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me if you're enjoying this story as much as I am. :') **

**See you soon, please review, and have a wonderful day!**

**(P.S. ...I hate to put this up a second time, but, a little help on my poll would be amazing... I'm stuck at a four-way tie. O,O) **

**~Scarlet!**


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